Could Have Been
by Gryvon
Summary: Kakashi/Iruka. Iruka has always regretted what he could have been.


Iruka's fingers curl in the sheets, wrinkling the fabric, bunching it up under his fists, but that's all he can do with his hands pinned to the bed. Two hands, slightly larger than his, hold him down by his wrists. He's trapped, mostly. There are sixteen jutsu he can think of to use in this position, four of which aren't easily countered, one of which he thinks Kakashi might not actually know. But he doesn't want to escape.

Kakashi's legs are pressed tight against his thighs, his knees keeping Iruka's legs spread, ass in the air. It was hard to breathe, not only because Iruka was biting the pillow muffle his voice – he was loud when sex was this good, and the neighbors complained – but also because of the way Kakashi moved. No one, absolutely no one, had ever made Iruka feel this good.

He shouldn't be here. They shouldn't be doing this. The irony of it made him want to cry. He did cry, but the tears were from an entirely different emotion.

Maybe it was just some sort of early mid-life crisis. At best, he would have said that he and Hatake Kakashi were casual acquaintances. It would have been a stretch to call them friends, and yet here they were, with Iruka face-down on his bed and Kakashi's cock shoved so far inside of him he could taste it on his tongue. Or maybe that was just an after effect of their foreplay. Nothing got a man into bed faster than a blow job that ended in a teasing smile and the question "your place or mine?"

Open house didn't usually affect him this badly. He was used to being around other people's children, but this was the first year that so many of the parents were familiar to him. He'd gone to school with most of them, played pranks on half of them, slept with a few of them. Never before had he been so reminded of what he could have had, if things had been slightly different. If he'd been different.

"No more thinking."

He didn't have to ask how Kakashi knew. It didn't take a genius to figure out what a single, gay school-teacher who loved children would be depressed over after an event that reminded him exactly what he could never have. It didn't take a genius, but he had one anyways.

Kakashi shifted forward, pushing Iruka's hands farther over his head. The pillow slipped out from beneath him. His loud moan sounded strangely obscene as it broke the near-silence of the room. Kakashi rolled his hips, lifting Iruka with each movement. He wasn't going to be able to move tomorrow, but he couldn't bring himself to mind.

"Wait," Iruka gasped. His breath came out ragged, punctuated by loud cries every time Kakashi slammed his hips forward at just the right angle. "Pillow..." He needed... he needed to do something about his voice.

"No," Kakashi countered, and pushed his legs further up the bed, sliding them both forward. The pillow pressed against his chest, too far down for him to reach without using his hands.

He was going to come. He'd been close for a while, but something about the sound of his own voice and the weight of Kakashi's hands over his set his nerves on edge.

"Please... Ah! The... the neighbors..."

"Let them hear."

His voice raised another octave as Kakashi brought his hands together, shifting both of Iruka's wrists into one hand. The other paused briefly on his hip, first tracing the curve of his ass then slipping around to take him in hand. Sweat slicked Kakashi's palm as it closed around him, squeezing around the base of his erection and then stroking down to the tip.

"No." Iruka was trembling. He pressed his forehead against the mattress but there wasn't anything he could do to keep his voice down. There was nothing in reach to bite, nothing he could use to keep his mouth shut. "Please."

Something heavy banged against the opposite wall, rattling the picture frames hung there.

Iruka groaned. His landlord had already threatened to kick him out if the neighbors kept complaining.

"Oh, god." He felt like he was burning up. Kakashi burned inside of him, spreading heat like molten fire through Iruka's veins. "Please. Please."

"You deserve to be happy."

Kakashi leaned forward, pressing against Iruka's back and nearly shoving him flat against the mattress. He was so deep, so far inside. Wet lips pressed against his shoulder, just below his neck, followed by the faint press of a tongue. Kakashi's lips widened on his skin. He felt teeth. Iruka came as Kakashi bit down, not hard enough to draw blood but enough to leave a mark.

The entire building probably heard him scream.

Kakashi's mouth kept moving as his hips slowed, teeth sliding down Iruka's shoulder to leave a trail of bite marks in their wake. His hands were released. Kakashi held him steady while he rode off the last of his orgasm, hips striking erratically before finally stilling. He could feel Kakashi's seed dripping down his thighs to leave wet streaks on the sheets.

It took Iruka a moment before he could move his hands. Even without Kakashi holding them down, it still felt like they were pinned there. His skin tingled where Kakashi had held his wrists. That was another set of marks he'd have in the morning.

He slid his hands down until they were in a more comfortable position, palms flat on either side of his head. Kakashi was still inside him, though no longer pressed against his back. Neither of them seemed in a hurry to move.

Iruka closed his eyes and waited for his breathing to level out. It didn't take long, though Kakashi already sounded recovered as Iruka started to breathe normally again.

"Thank you," he said finally.

Fingers trailed down his spine. He could feel Kakashi watching him.

"I think I'm the one that should be thanking you. If I had known you were this good in bed, I would have propositioned you sooner. I guess it's true what they say about repressed schoolteachers."

Iruka couldn't help but laugh at that. He wondered how many 'repressed schoolteachers' were featured in the book series Kakashi was always carrying around. "Technically, I was the one that propositioned you."

Kakashi's weight settled over him again. The jounin's forearms formed a triangle over his head. Lips pressed against his hair briefly. "Yet another reason I should be thanking you."

He felt like he should be justifying himself, or at least asking if Kakashi wanted to stay the night. He'd have to change the sheets before they could actually sleep, and a shower wouldn't be bad either.

"Kakashi, I..."

"Shh." Another kiss settled on the back of his head. "I understand."

"But, I..."

"You know," Kakashi cut him off. He shifted slightly, the motion reminding Iruka how closely they were still joined. "You don't have to be married to have a family."

He couldn't hide the bitterness in his laugh. "That's the way most people do it."

"Well, you're not most people. And you've already got a really great kid."

"What-"

"Naruto."

Realization struck him speechless.

"And," Kakashi continued, "if you're taking applications for a future husband, I'd be glad to apply." He rolled his hips pointedly. "I think my credentials speak for themselves."

Iruka lifted his hand slightly to twine his fingers with Kakashi's. It wasn't what it could have been, but he had the feeling it would be enough.


End file.
